The In House waffle translator
We’re known for our unpretentious, waffle-free property descriptions
Some agents wonder why people have a dim view of our industry, yet at the same time attempt to bamboozle you with cliched property descriptions.
Would you know what to expect if you went to view a “Delightfully well-appointed charming hidden gem secluded within this sought-after up and coming area convenient for transport links and ideal for investors and first time buyers alike”? No neither would we! If you’re not sure what we mean, take a look at these:
1. “May be in need of slight modernisation”
What it really means: It’ a wreck : needs everything doing
2. “Deceptively Spacious”
What it really means: This one’s even smaller than it looks on the pictures
3. “Compact and Bijou”
What it really means: Again tiny, but trying to be tiny and exotic
4. “Viewing highly recommended”
What it really means: Please view, we’re struggling
5. “Situated within this popular development”
What it really means: It’ on an estate
6. “Easy maintenance garden”
What it really means: Small with concrete slabs
7. “You can put your own stamp on it”
What it really means: It all needs updating
8. “It’s like a blank canvas”
What it really means: Again, all needs updating
9. “Cash buyers only”
What it really means: There’s not a bank that would lend on this one
10. “Rural location with distinctly private feel”
What it really means: There’s no shop or bus stop for miles, just sheep
11. “Pied-A-terre”
What it really means: Nice little lock-up
12. “3 bedrooms, 2 of which are doubles”
What it really means: One’s definitely a tiny box room
13. “Reduced for a quick sale”
What it really means: No one wanted it
14. “Highly sought after area”
What it really means: We’ve ridiculously overpriced it
